The importance of keeping appointments with yourself
Successfully building a business involves being consistent with tasks — whether it’s market discovery, offer creation, or content creation.
However, many entrepreneurs work sporadically, often waiting for inspiration or tackling tasks last minute. This approach can be stressful, and hinders steady advancement.
A strategy I use and recommend is to schedule appointments with yourself to work on vital tasks. And then, the most important part… showing up! :)
Each time you show up for a self-appointment, thereby keeping a promise to yourself, you build self-trust. And your business moves forward. You gain exposure to a task, reducing its emotional weight over time.
Think about tasks that once seemed daunting. For me, it was writing blog posts, creating videos, and launching courses. The first few times can carry strong emotional charge — fear, resistance, an attachment to self-worth. But consistent repetition transforms them. They no longer are a “big deal.” The emotional charge fades. That’s why it’s important to keep showing up.
What Happens When You Miss Self-Appointments?
When the scheduled time passes and the work isn’t done, two common, unhealthy reactions occur:
- Ignoring the Missed Appointment: You pretend it didn’t happen.
- Self-Blame: You criticize yourself for not sticking to the plan.
Let’s examine these and find better alternative responses…
Ignoring Your Plan
You scheduled the time because the project matters. Ignoring that commitment is breaking a promise to yourself.
Consider this: would you schedule an appointment with a valued client and simply not show up because you didn’t “feel like it”? You’d definitely be there. You would prepare, muster up your energy, and be present.
Here’s a crucial realization:
You are your most important client.
Your well-being, focus, and follow-through directly impact your capacity to serve everyone else. No other client is more central to your success.
Treating your own scheduled commitments with the same respect you give an important client appointment builds self-trust.
Decide today to treat yourself as your most important client. Give your own schedule the respect it deserves. Rescheduling occasionally is acceptable, like it might be with a client if a genuine reason arises. But repeatedly canceling disrespects your most important client — you!
Also, constantly pushing back important work leads to last-minute rushes or incomplete projects. You miss the benefits of gradual development and subconscious processing. Don’t schedule appointments with yourself casually; treat them as firm commitments.
This is where accountability tools can help. Using a service like Focusmate adds a layer of commitment, as someone else is also expecting you to show up.
Self-Blame
When you miss a self-appointment, resist the urge to blame or punish yourself.
Imagine a valued client or service provider sincerely apologizing for missing a meeting due to a rare, valid reason. Would you berate them? No, you’d likely offer understanding and compassion.
Extend that same kindness to yourself. Again, you are your most important client.
Be gentle. Take a breath. Forgive yourself.
Then, get curious.
Avoid self-attacking questions like, “Why am I so undisciplined?” Instead, ask constructive questions: “What can I do differently next time to make keeping this appointment more likely?”
Strategies for Keeping Self-Appointments
Curiosity leads to solutions. Consider these adjustments:
- Create Schedule Space: Avoid back-to-back scheduling. Build in buffer time.
- Adjust Appointment Length: For daunting tasks, try shorter blocks (e.g., 25–30 minutes) to make starting easier. Conversely, if short blocks feel unproductive, schedule longer, focused sessions (e.g., 90 minutes or 2 hours) to build momentum.
- Manage Energy and Emotion: If a project feels intimidating, start the scheduled time with an energy-boosting practice. An energy reboot — a brief technique to calm the nervous system — can help achieve calm, joyful focus. Repeat as needed.
- Break It Down: At the start of the appointment, list small, doable steps. This reduces overwhelm and makes it easier to begin. Focus on taking one baby step at a time.
- Start Small, Build Gradually: If keeping self-appointments is new or difficult, don’t try to overhaul your schedule overnight. That’s like signing up for a marathon without ever running a mile — it leads to burnout and self-disappointment. Start with just one appointment with yourself per week or per day. Treat it with utmost importance. Practice keeping that one commitment consistently. As you build the muscle of self-trust, gradually add more.
Building the Muscle of Self-Trust
Mastering this takes practice. Be a student of your own energy and joyful productivity. Experiment with scheduling strategies. Learn what helps you show up consistently.
The goal isn’t rigid perfection, but reliable effort. It’s about detaching from the immediate outcome of any single work session and focusing on the act of showing up. Consistent effort builds skills, reduces fear, and diminishes the emotional charge attached to projects.
Remember Somerset Maugham: “I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.” Creativity and productivity can flourish within a structure you learn to respect.
Be gentle with yourself throughout this process, yet remain dedicated to growth. As you learn to make and keep plans with yourself, your self-trust, confidence, and authentic power will grow. This internal reliability naturally reflects outward, influencing how others perceive and trust you.
It starts within. Make a plan. Show up for yourself, your most important client!
Originally written in Sept 2021. Updated in April 2025.
